"Rains of Castamere" has been called the most brutal and devastating hour of television ever made. I've seen worse – Opie's death in Sons of Anarchy, The Walking Dead's barn scene in episode 7 of season 2... But this one is right up there.
And it's certainly one of the most frustrating episodes of television I have ever witnessed.
They play with you on soooo many occasions in this episode!
Bran and his entourage? They hide out from a storm in an abandoned tower when who should ride by? Jon Snow and the Wildings! But is there a joyful reunion between brothers??? Noooooo! Because the Wildings want Jon to prove his loyalty to them by killing an innocent. But, Jon is an honorable man. Instead of killing the man, he turns his blade on the Wildings and a pretty decent sword fight ensues. Jon ends up leaving his brother, the Wildings, and one very pissed off Ygritte behind.
**And now let's have a moment of silence as Ginny says goodbye to sexy time with Jon and Ygritte. Goodbye, sexy time. You will be missed.
If one so-close-you-can-touch-it family reunion wasn't enough for you, then have another. Because Arya, who has been traveling with The Hound in hopes that her mother and brother would pay dearly for her safe return, is on her way to meet them!
Sadly, this will not happen either because just when she is this-close to reaching her family, she and The Hound are turned away at the gate. Why? Well, that's when I get truly pissed off.
The episode opens up with Robb asking his mother, Lady Catelyn, if she agrees with his plan to attack Casterly Rock. It's dangerous and it involves Robb asking for assistance from a man he has wronged, Walder Frey. See, Robb promised to marry one of Frey's many daughters but instead he fell in love with Talisa, a nurse among his armies and he married her instead.
Catelyn is worried about her oldest son but she gives him her blessing and it is lovely to see these two getting along after all of their recent fighting.
The Starks go to Frey and ask his forgiveness for Robb's broken promise.
Frey's all, "Yeah, that's totes cool. After all, Robb, you married for love and what's more honorable than that? Have your uncle marry one of my ugly daughters and we're totally square."
Ever the trusting soul, Robb's all, "Sweet! Let's do this!" And off they go! But not before Frey got all creepy, sexual harassing Talisa.
They're at the wedding and Robb and Talisa are being all cute and stuff. She's pregnant and tells Robb that if it's a boy, they should name him Ned after Robb's father. Squee!
But Ned Stark was brutally killed in season one and little Ned Junior meets a similar fate as one of the Freys suddenly comes up behind her and stabs her violently in the belly. As Robb kneels over her weeping, he is shot with multiple arrows and all of his men are locked in the room and their throats are slit. It's horrible! Horrible, I tell you!
Catelyn is watching all of this and begs for her son's life. she threatens to kill Frey's wife if Robb dies. Frey, ever the douche, just says he can get another. As Robb is stabbed multiple times, Catelyn screams, kills Frey's wife and then promptly has her own throat slit by one of Frey's men.
Thus ends one of the most infuriating hours of television I have ever watched.
I had George RR Martin's novels on my summer reading list, but now I'm asking myself if I really want to read them. What is up with Martin? He takes everyone good and honorable – Ned, Catelyn, sweet, trusting Robb, and murders them in horrible ways while weasly, cowardly little d-bags like Joffrey and his awful mother carry on without a care in the world! Who's next, Rickon??? (Don't say Jon Snow. Don't say Jon Snow. Don't say Jon Snow!)
Is this really a world I want to immerse myself into??? If you've read the novels, speak up; I want to hear from you! Are they worth my time? Or do I need to recommend a good psychiatrist for our friend Mr. Martin?
While I try to make up my mind, enjoy this Youtube video I found that aptly describes my reaction to Sunday's episode:
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